My Journey
Let's start here -
Why am I telling you all of this?
These are some of my pieces.
The pieces that I didn't know how to deal with for a long time. That I didn't want. That I said "why me?" to. So I hid them away the best that I could. I focused on excelling in school and professionally and not letting these parts of me "hinder my success".
Now, looking back, who I've become has been greatly shaped by these experiences. They guide my purpose. My raison d'être. They are core to my being and how I show up in the world.
There is a Japanese art form called Kintsugi, or "golden joining" (金継ぎ), where cracks in a bowl or plate are highlighted and enhanced with gold, adding value to the object. You may have seen this before.
- I had really bad asthma as a kid which was triggered by physical exercise. Remember when team captains got to pick teams? I know what it's like to get picked last. It sucks. I gained a better awareness of and strong distaste for systems that isolate those at the bottom.
- I grew up in a multicultural household in Hong Kong and spent most of my youth feeling like I didn't belong, unsure of my identity. As a person of mixed race, I felt like an outsider who never fit in. It wasn't until much later in life that I began to see my upbringing as a gift - I learned to adapt quickly and could wander among different cultural and racial groups.
- I was plagued by severe acne for nearly 6 years. During the bad times, I remember locking myself in my dorm room FOR DAYS, without food, because I couldn't stand the thought of being seen by anyone. I felt so ugly and ashamed of my skin. The scars on my face remind me to stay humble and compassionate.
- I witnessed my long-distance college sweetheart develop and struggle with multiple severe eating disorders over the course of our 5 years together. We cried together on the phone nearly every day and I felt utterly helpless watching her wither physically and emotionally into a shell of the person I loved. Since we were physically apart, I attended support groups on my own to try and seek help and peace of mind as a partner. As her health deteriorated, I learned to gradually accept being in a state of persistent darkness - of sadness, anger, resentment, pain - instead of resisting it. Ironically, the acceptance allowed us to find appreciation and even joy in the little things. Over time, I gained a deep sense of empathy for others struggling with their own pain. In a way, I felt more connected to the suffering of others.
Why am I telling you all of this?
These are some of my pieces.
The pieces that I didn't know how to deal with for a long time. That I didn't want. That I said "why me?" to. So I hid them away the best that I could. I focused on excelling in school and professionally and not letting these parts of me "hinder my success".
Now, looking back, who I've become has been greatly shaped by these experiences. They guide my purpose. My raison d'être. They are core to my being and how I show up in the world.
There is a Japanese art form called Kintsugi, or "golden joining" (金継ぎ), where cracks in a bowl or plate are highlighted and enhanced with gold, adding value to the object. You may have seen this before.
Image credit tsugi.de
Naturally, every piece is unique because of the randomness with which ceramics shatters and the irregular patterns formed.
As a philosophy, I love the idea that our cracks and pieces shape our unique journey, full of stories, beauty, and wisdom. That we can learn to integrate all pieces of ourselves to not only acknowledge but also honor and celebrate them. That the sum is greater than its parts.
We are so quick to attach ourselves to our accomplishments, credentials, successes, results... yet we are so much more than that.
As a philosophy, I love the idea that our cracks and pieces shape our unique journey, full of stories, beauty, and wisdom. That we can learn to integrate all pieces of ourselves to not only acknowledge but also honor and celebrate them. That the sum is greater than its parts.
We are so quick to attach ourselves to our accomplishments, credentials, successes, results... yet we are so much more than that.
Some of my other pieces
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I come from a family of teachers. My grandfather worked for a university until he was 93 years old. My father recently turned 70 and is still teaching grad students around the world. My mom has helped thousands of students find careers after business school. It runs in my blood - here I am as a camp counselor & leadership facilitator for middle and high school students.
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I've been a magician since I was 7. As a performing stage and street magician, I find tremendous joy in helping people get reacquainted with a childlike sense of wonder and awe. I've performed for kid's birthday parties, university deans, veterans, Krispy Kreme chefs, and audiences of up to 300 people.
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I'm a lifelong student of martial arts. After learning Krav Maga for 3 years, I tried Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and immediately fell in love. 6 years later and going strong, I'm currently a purple belt under Romulo Melo in San Francisco and now train regularly at Guardian Gym in Oakland. (Side note: every adult membership supports one local youth to train for free)
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I've jumped out of a perfectly good airplane over 600 times, willingly, often holding hands with other people. I started skydiving in 2011 and I've been lucky to have some mind-blowing memories with some incredible people around the world. I helped my friend plan an 11-person wedding in the sky, officiant and wedding party included (ask me for the video!). I became a certified USPA skydiving coach and went on to set 3 world records with an outstanding team. Contrary to most people's assumptions, skydiving for me is one of the most peaceful, meditative things in my life where I'm fully present and in flow.
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I've participated in Burning Man 7 times. You can usually find me handing out pour-over coffee at sunset as part of Camp Roasted, a theme camp we started in 2013. In fact, I met my soulmate there in 2012 and proposed to her 3 years later. We got married in 2017 and have gone back as a couple to where it all began :)
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And professionally?
For 15 years, I've been creating and nurturing products, teams, and processes.
Today, I'm lucky that I get to use those insights, skills, and lessons learned to be of service to others as a coach.
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- In college, I worked with university officials to co-found a diversity-focused event organization fund that enabled student groups to cross-pollinate and host innovative, multicultural events on campus.
- I've led project teams who've designed and built multi-million dollar cloud computing environments that enabled teams of up to 22,000 people to work effectively and securely from anywhere.
- I've built a team of technical project managers that rallied a global team of over 150 people to create and launch the world's best-selling, award-winning digital cameras while navigating a tricky IPO as the company grew from 300 to 1800 people.
- I've grown a team that has served as trusted technical advisors to the world's leading K-12 education companies such as Khan Academy, Duolingo, Pearson Assessments, and Renaissance Learning.
- I've been trained as a Co-Active Professional Coach, widely recognized as the gold standard and one of the most rigorous professional coaching training programs in the industry.
Today, I'm lucky that I get to use those insights, skills, and lessons learned to be of service to others as a coach.
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Learn more about coaching.
In the end, just three things matter: How well we have lived. How well we have loved. How well we have learned to let go.
Jack Kornfield
Jack Kornfield